"I'm Too Busy" ...and the other excuses we make

Listen friends, if anyone is BUSY, it's me.

If this is your first time reading I'll quickly summarize that I work full time in sales leadership, I am the founder of a wellness center - The Zen Den of Gilbert, a mother, a wife and my passions, that I pursue daily include teaching yoga, coaching women, giving reiki, leading workshops, and the list literally goes on.

My days consist of waking up early and literally going from one meeting, one call, and one task to the next including on my drive home, and once I get home, completing tasks, lesson plans, coaching programs, responding to emails, managing the schedule, and on, for the wellness center. In addition to managing to spend quality time with my family, eat, and making time for myself. Every. Single Day.

Up until the last year or so, I would sleep until the very last minute I had to get up and get ready for my day and when I would get home I would collapse in front of the TV until bedtime because that's literally all I could muster. I would do all of the tasks I had to do and leave zero time for me and what I've discovered since opening my coaching program is that is the same for most of the women I work with. Can you relate or what?!

In the last year, one of the gifts (ha) that midlife has given me is waking up really fucking EARLY. Typically somewhere between 4-5:30am. I don't even have to set an alarm anymore. In the past when people told me that they didn't wake up to an alarm, I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. That was something that old people did, not cool kids like me.

When it first started, I would fight it. I would try to force myself back to sleep until 6:30 or so when I really had to get up. When my brain was like "nice try, girl. We are ready to GO!" I would just lay in bed and think about what my day had in store for me, replay scenarios from the day before, or think about new business ideas. But after a few months of that, I decided to take advantage of the time.

I read the book "The Miracle Morning" a few years ago and even though it had some really great ideas, tips, and guides to maximize my morning time I was NOT ready for all that yet. I tried it for a few mornings, found an accountability partner, and even started following the IG page but at the time I read it, I was still in that mode of remembering the times that I was up at 4:30am were the times that I had actually just stayed up all night back in the day smoking cigarettes and sipping Mich Ultras with friends, or even sometimes by myself, and not starting the day with healthy habits.

There are a few things that have evolved over the last few months that have helped and changed my feelings around that precious morning time. First, I realized my purpose and MEANING. My purpose is to guide others into the highest versions of themselves and I cannot do that if I'm running on fumes and not living in integrity. If I'm waking up at the last minute every day, working all day with no breaks, and coming home to eat dinner then pass out in front of the TV, how can I guide others to their true purpose and meaning? I can't and more importantly, I won't.

Next, I make self-care and personal development a priority every day. Even if it's only minutes. You're here because you want to read the uncensored and unfiltered truth so my question to you is - If you're not taking time for yourself, spending time in your own energy, learning about yourself, and living FOR yourself, what are you doing?

Listen, I'm not telling you to quit your job, neglect your family, or stop binge watching "The Hunting Wives" because my understanding is that is self-care in itself, but what I'm asking you is - aren't you worth some intentional time for you? Aren't you worth spending time on? Aren't you worth slowing down and loving, even for a few minutes a day?

This isn't made to make you feel bad about anything you're currently doing, it's to help you think about how you can take a few minutes each day doing the things that fill your cup! Whatever that looks like! If you're like "Darien, binge watching my favorite show is self-care!" I'm not here to disagree with you but I'm going to share a few scientific facts with you about the effects of binge watching:

Increased cortisol: Extended screen time can keep stress hormones elevated, which prevents your body from entering a true relaxation state.

Blue light disruption: The light from screens suppresses melatonin, making it harder to wind down and sleep.

Sedentary stress: Sitting for long periods decreases blood flow and can actually increase feelings of tension in the body.

I know, it's kinda fucked up, but so is staying in an everlasting "fight or flight" state and constantly finding ways to say no to yourself and yes to everything and everyone else. Because if any of this is hitting home for you, you are constantly doing for others. Believe me, I can relate. That's a whole ass blog post in itself.

So back to how you can start finagling time into your schedule for you. Here are a few ideas for you...

• Wake up earlier! I know - if I read this before I was a morning person (ew, it's hard to even admit it) that statement would have annoyed me but if that's the only time you have to spend on yourself, please love yourself enough to try it.

• Put time on your calendar between meetings, even 10 minutes, to step away from your computer and phone. This might sound like torture and I can tell you from experience that it takes practice but is SO worth it.

• When you get home at the end of the day, again, take a few minutes to decompress. Let your people know ahead of time that this is a new practice for you and to be patient with you. This is also known as a boundary ; ) Another blog for another day.

• Create a bedtime routine that doesn't include screens. Maybe adopt a nighttime skincare or dental ritual, read for a few minutes, or have some tea. You can literally turn anything into a personal ritual that feel like self care.

This is just a sampling of the countless ideas I can share with you but can be really impactful, even if you only try ONE of them.

If you want more, I'm leading a workshop at The Zen Den of Gilbert called "From Hustle to Harmony - Practical Stress Relief for Business Professionals where I'm going to walk you through an entire day of PRACTICAL mindfulness and stress relief for busy humans. It's only $33 and I'm not saying it will change your life, but I'm not saying it won't. Here's the link to save your spot: https://www.wellnessliving.com/rs/book-process.html?id_book_process=2&id_book_process_back=6&id_class_tab=2&id_place=2&k_class_tab=63251&dt_date=2025-09-02+01%3A00%3A00&k_class_period=15832351&k_business=529209&id_mode=2

I'm also creating an online course/guide along the same lines because it's too important not to have at your fingertips. Not to get too dark on you but stress related illnesses are on the rise and stress is literally killing us. Again, another blog for another day.

If you want to get deeper on figuring out what your purpose is, like why the fuck you even want to get up early, or what actually lights you up, how to weave self-care into YOUR exact day, yes YOUR day, or what to actually DO for self-care, I've got you. My books are open and this stuff is my jam. Here's the link to book a one-on-one with me: https://www.wellnessliving.com/rs/appointment-new/the_zen_den_of_gilbert?dtu_redirect=2025-08-09+20%3A31%3A29&id_class_tab=3&id_mode=1&k_class_tab=63254&s_id=aUimHw

In the meantime, remember you deserve time for you. I promise you, you weren't born to drive your kids to sports, only bend to the demands of your day job, and have only scraps of left for yourself. You deserve to be EXCITED to wake up in the morning, to live your purpose, and feel fulfilled - EVERY. FUCKING. DAY.

I love you! XOXO - Darien

P.S. - This picture is of my husband and I slowing down to do something together, as a couple. Another blog for another day!